Thinking of the Divide

To think of my niece, who I only know through her youth. She was small. That is when I knew her. That cannot come back. She may not remember when we were best friends. The girl I know was forgotten. She is a different person now. She has withdrawn and I have been too far away to help. I have been an abject failure. I have been in my own world, away from the love. Away from a place to give her strength and now my chance is gone. In the confusion of my place in this world I have come up short. I have lost all sense of responsibility to her; To the knowledge of the her I once knew. The world is every bit hers to command and I haven’t been able to teach her that. Though, it should never have occurred to her that she couldn’t but I don’t know what people tell her. That, she couldn’t go anywhere. That she couldn’t follow a dream and pick up another. Just because a dream is forgotten it can still be remembered.

The three realms of body soul and mind meld into one being of conscious. The being that you know. I hit other people and creates a separate being, a copy of myself in the minds of others. We are both the same being but slightly different versions. The me that I am in my mind and the being in the minds of others are not different. They are a focus. An exaggerated self. I can change it over time or I can surrender to the truth of it. I am following my dreams. I am holding my friends close. I have left my family behind. I have abandoned them through distance. All my experience is with drawn and when I see them again, I am like a ghost.

 

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