Veronica; the bringer of victory. Not just a good luck charm. Victory needs dragged; kicking, screaming, choking down blood and coursing the name Veronica. She didn’t feel any victory in this sickly warm prison. She was bound with purple, organic cocoon around her arms and behind her back. It wasn’t even in a strong position, her toes pointed under the mess of mucus restraint. Her limbs itched and burned. Something injected in her blood. Something that made her body tender and soft. She had never been in as much pain but whatever they were putting in her body made her euphoric about it.
She almost lost her head.

Continued http://www.lasertimepodcast.com/2015/03/02/veronica-venom-chapter-1/

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3 thoughts on “Veronica Venom

  1. Excellent! – I am assuming the Veronica/Victoria name changes are intentional. The transitions weren’t clear.
    Also, I notice you either fall back on too many commas or use too many full stops in certain chunks.
    Otherwise, a really good Duke Nukem story, it almost feels redeeming.
    (also, there is no need to use the tag ‘sexism’ the term does not carry in this story’s context)

    • Thank you!
      I wish Veronica/Victoria was on purpose. If I can see or make a good transition, I will make it so. It was most likely fast typing and rushed proofing.
      I only abuse English until it doesn’t work for me. THe punctuation is probably going to stay. If I ever revisit or rewrite it, there could be differences.
      I was most worried about throwing in too many jokes. I specifically remember taking out, “This is the most I have ever thought about rebar.” I’m still not sure how I feel about “saved by shaved legs.”
      I hated DNF. I wanted to make something good and damning.
      I think sexism is the majority of the context. It is about women who are abducted and bred. The entire story is based off gender. That sounds like exactly sexism.
      Besides, if you came from the sexism tag, I’m defiantly keeping it.

  2. You’ve gone off the deep end mate, to a very dark place. Turn on a few more lights so I can see where I’m going. I peeked at your utube(chillin with your mate the fat guy) and I believe you have a plan for this!!! It’s dark and dirty, terrifying, and a maze. A few candles maybe!!!

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