Haste Thoughts 2

I don’t remember how many credits I earned in college. It wasn’t insignificant, I think.  I just don’t remember  I never thought about it that much in college. I was thinking about studying  How much the number doesn’t matter compared to the degree. I measure that time in friends, books, games, all-nighters, and the better tasting meals. I have no professional retrospective. 

I find myself wanting to know. I don’t want to go back to another school but I should be prepared to. I defiantly don’t want to spend more than a year and a half in another institution  I have tasted too much of life for that. I have to work now. I have to write and perfect my practice.

I wake up and write and find it amazing. I punch keys and look up rules and read. I feel like anything else would be back tracking. l hit all the notes once before and found myself in the wondering of the real world. I feel asleep in classes and rushed assignments. Now, there is work and company.

I was at a disadvantage. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I didn’t worry about what I wanted to do. I worried about obeying. I worried about souls and visits with people. I worried about why other people were being asked to speak and I was not. I felt behind and I didn’t know why. As if, God himself was holding me back. Then, I decided he was and I left. 

Now, I am on my own, as far as who is in charge. I get to make this call. I get to take ownership of that and stare down all the naysayers. 

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